So, I have had an outrageously up and down month.

The winter really, really beat me up there right towards the end. I got super depressed, got on some additional meds, got too many side effects, went down onto a lower dose, stabilized and now I’m feeling a LOT more like myself. I’ve also been super busy with Life stuff – some dental stuff, physical therapy for a neck/shoulder problem 3x a week because of sudden headaches over the past 2 months or so, just STUFF and trying to cram it all in.

I’ve been waiting for awhile now (since Decemberish?) to get into a different therapy program. My pdoc has specifically told me that I need a structured DBT program to work on my day-to-day emotional instability and distress tolerance. I did my intake interview in January 2019, and I am going to start the “group”/didactic portion of this program March 27th. Some of the other places I called haven’t even gotten back to me, even if I was able or willing to pay totally out of pocket for it.

It’s going to be an indeterminate amount of time until I get individual therapy from the same provider giving me the DBT group program.

In the meantime, shortly after my last post, I started online therapy through Amwell because I was really feeling the lack of that weekly reflection in my life. It’s not covered by insurance and I pay out of pocket for it (I’m using my FSA benefits from work to cover it) and I lucked out and got an AMAZING therapist that I see through my computer or phone or tablet or whatever. I schedule my own appointments through the website, so I can easily swap around appointments when life interjects (see first paragraph).

I’m working with my new, online therapist on anxiety management. Which, to be totally honest, I always treated as a secondary thing in my life, and I’m finding out that treating that FIRST might actually make everything else much easier to handle, because anxiety leads on a straight line to depression for me.